Mary's Words About Pat
If you are here today, you know what a good man Pat was and, I am sure, you loved him and he loved you. He cherished and was so proud of each of your relationships with him. Our hearts are all broken as is yours.
Pat Agresti. That’s what I said when I told stories about him. About Pat Agresti’s lust for life, the way he adored his sons, the things he did to surprise, spoil and annoy me, his latest negotiation and all his crazy rules and beliefs – “turn the air conditioner off before you turn off the car” or “no vending machines, we have that at home.”
In all our years together I never once saw Pat’s integrity, his character or his commitment waver. He loved and protected his family above all else.
I don’t have to tell you how committed Pat was to me and the boys. Over the years, countless people would tell me, “every time I drive by your house, Pat is out there with his sons, tossing a football or baseball.” He prided himself that over all the years and all the sports, he never missed any of the boy’s games. Christopher likes to tell the story that Pat came home from work, went to his St. Agnes hoop game, and then went back to the City to work. Pat took great pride in and was so proud of Michael, Christopher and Patrick. He leaves a legacy of love and integrity and we are grateful for each and every day we got to see his great big smile and for the many life lessons he taught us and all the jokes and laughter we shared. Pat has left a piece of him in each of our boys.
Pat was happiest surrounded by family and friends. He would always say “tell the boys to have their friends here.” His heart was in his home. He loved and cherished his family and friends like no other. He always told me “keep it simple.” Yet somehow his goal was that everything had to be “the best.” While “the best” means something different to each of us, Pat needed to have what HE deemed the best; the best doctor, the best restaurant, the best schools, the best food, the best hotels. And now I realize, simply said, that HE was the best.
I look back over our life together with nothing but joy, thankfulness and happiness. I thank God for the gift of this great man. Pat was a man of deep love, which he didn’t always show with words or public displays of affection or grand gestures, but if Pat Agresti loved you, you knew it, no doubt about it. He was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I would like to thank all the dear ones who gave us strength, laughter, meals, dog walking – those who sat for hours in the pantry at Mercy’s ICU and who traveled to New York City for a visit and shared stories and memories -- and above all for your unconditional love over these most difficult days.
So surrounded here today by all his favorites please promise me that you will happily remember him as the larger than life, good guy and that he will live on in your thoughts, in your memories and in your conversations and most of all in your hearts. I know there are hundreds of stories and anecdotes that exemplify Pat. He would love nothing more than for you to take time to laugh and remember and recount them and realize how important the small things are and how life truly is too short. Have the Front Street donut, leave work early and get down to the beach, take a spur of the moment drive out East, go to your kid’s game or go to a game even if you don’t have a kid playing, book that dream, bucket list vacation, but just make sure you use points. We will surely miss Pat but we will never feel alone because he left behind a love that cannot be broken and countless memories that can never be forgotten.
Thank you again for coming to celebrate Pat’s life with us today. I find comfort in the phrase “quality, not quantity” when I try to make sense this unimaginable nightmare. Our time together may have been cut short, but the love and happiness we shared together will last a lifetime.
I will end with this quote: “Say not in grief that he has gone, but give thanks that he was ours.”
Mary's Words About Pat
If you are here today, you know what a good man Pat was and, I am sure, you loved him and he loved you. He cherished and was so proud of each of your relationships with him. Our hearts are all broken as is yours.
Pat Agresti. That’s what I said when I told stories about him. About Pat Agresti’s lust for life, the way he adored his sons, the things he did to surprise, spoil and annoy me, his latest negotiation and all his crazy rules and beliefs – “turn the air conditioner off before you turn off the car” or “no vending machines, we have that at home.”
In all our years together I never once saw Pat’s integrity, his character or his commitment waver. He loved and protected his family above all else.
I don’t have to tell you how committed Pat was to me and the boys. Over the years, countless people would tell me, “every time I drive by your house, Pat is out there with his sons, tossing a football or baseball.” He prided himself that over all the years and all the sports, he never missed any of the boy’s games. Christopher likes to tell the story that Pat came home from work, went to his St. Agnes hoop game, and then went back to the City to work. Pat took great pride in and was so proud of Michael, Christopher and Patrick. He leaves a legacy of love and integrity and we are grateful for each and every day we got to see his great big smile and for the many life lessons he taught us and all the jokes and laughter we shared. Pat has left a piece of him in each of our boys.
Pat was happiest surrounded by family and friends. He would always say “tell the boys to have their friends here.” His heart was in his home. He loved and cherished his family and friends like no other. He always told me “keep it simple.” Yet somehow his goal was that everything had to be “the best.” While “the best” means something different to each of us, Pat needed to have what HE deemed the best; the best doctor, the best restaurant, the best schools, the best food, the best hotels. And now I realize, simply said, that HE was the best.
I look back over our life together with nothing but joy, thankfulness and happiness. I thank God for the gift of this great man. Pat was a man of deep love, which he didn’t always show with words or public displays of affection or grand gestures, but if Pat Agresti loved you, you knew it, no doubt about it. He was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I would like to thank all the dear ones who gave us strength, laughter, meals, dog walking – those who sat for hours in the pantry at Mercy’s ICU and who traveled to New York City for a visit and shared stories and memories -- and above all for your unconditional love over these most difficult days.
So surrounded here today by all his favorites please promise me that you will happily remember him as the larger than life, good guy and that he will live on in your thoughts, in your memories and in your conversations and most of all in your hearts. I know there are hundreds of stories and anecdotes that exemplify Pat. He would love nothing more than for you to take time to laugh and remember and recount them and realize how important the small things are and how life truly is too short. Have the Front Street donut, leave work early and get down to the beach, take a spur of the moment drive out East, go to your kid’s game or go to a game even if you don’t have a kid playing, book that dream, bucket list vacation, but just make sure you use points. We will surely miss Pat but we will never feel alone because he left behind a love that cannot be broken and countless memories that can never be forgotten.
Thank you again for coming to celebrate Pat’s life with us today. I find comfort in the phrase “quality, not quantity” when I try to make sense this unimaginable nightmare. Our time together may have been cut short, but the love and happiness we shared together will last a lifetime.
I will end with this quote: “Say not in grief that he has gone, but give thanks that he was ours.”
“My father did not tell me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it”
— Clarence Budington Kellane
“My father did not tell me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it”
— Clarence Budington Kellane
Pat's Eulogy from his sons
My Dad always said, “If you’re gonna do something, do it right” and on behalf of my brothers, Christopher, Patrick, and myself, I’d like to do right by our Dad and honor him with these words. In the time that the many nurses and doctors who treated him got to know him, they all had the same sentiment to share, “Your Dad is a great man.” I think it is a testament to the extraordinary person he was, that in the middle of his greatest struggle he showed nothing but bravery, strength, and resiliency. Our Dad was a lot of things to a lot of people, but to us, he was our hero. He was a straight shooter who knew what he liked, he was the model family man, and he was larger than life itself. Some of the things that brought him the most joy were being at Hickey Field, sitting in his beach chair at the Ocean Club, spending time with my brothers and I, his “boys”, and taking family vacations, especially to the Bahamas, where we were lucky enough to travel to at the end of December. We spent New Year’s Eve together eating at Carmine’s and while we were talking, we started to play a game; the object of the game was to pick only one word to describe each family member. My cousin Emily went around the table easily coming up with an identifier for each person, but was stuck when she got to my Dad. That’s because it’s impossible to describe our Dad in one word. But if I could use a few, some of the words I would choose are persistent, hardworking, selfless, loyal, and genuine.
Our Dad was persistent in his ability to strike a bargain with just about anything or anyone, whether he was negotiating with Wall Street traders, Little League coaches, or Starwood preferred guest representatives, he never met a challenge or obstacle he couldn’t and wouldn’t tackle. He was also the most hardworking man I’ve ever known and was relentless in the pursuit of both his goals and his passions. Not everyone can make a mid-life career switch from being a successful bond trader to an even more tenacious security agent and make it look as seamless as my Dad.
His selflessness was evident in the many ways he gave so much of himself in service to others; those who were privileged enough to know him as “coach”, whether it was through little league or the BBL, know what a pillar and presence he was to the Rockville Centre community, a place he was proud to call home and that he loved with all his heart. My family and I felt the power of this community over the past several months and we extend our heartfelt gratitude for your endless support and generosity.
He was also fiercely loyal--only a man as devoted as my Dad could forge such unbreakable, lasting friendships. One of his most cherished friendships was with Tom Gallucci, and on behalf of my Dad and my family I would like to take a moment to thank Mr. and Mrs. G for being our advocates, our rocks, and our PR consultants. We can never adequately express how much your kindness and compassion has strengthened us, and please know that although there are friends and there is family, we feel unbelievably blessed to have both in you. I know my Dad would agree with me when I say everyone deserves to have a Galluch in their life.
Our Dad was also extremely genuine and true to himself. You would often hear him say, “Frieda, I like what I like”. He had both a commanding and humble presence about him, where he had the ability to send everyone into immediate laughter with a witty joke or one liner, or put others around him at ease with his silent and powerful demeanor; you always knew when Pat Agresti entered a room. He taught by example, had a strong moral compass, and was both a man of his word and a man of outstanding character. When my cousin finally got around to choosing a word to perfectly describe our Dad, she
picked the word just; our Dad was always the most fair man in the room, and knew that it was always more important to do what was right, not what was easy. But the truth is, our Dad isn’t just one anything, he’s so much more. We love you, Dad.
“My father did not tell me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it”
— Clarence Budington Kellane
Sentiments From Pete
You all know me officially as Pat’s brother-in-law, but in my heart and I think in his heart, he was my brother and my best friend. Even though he was younger than me, in many ways, Pat was my role model of what a husband, father, son, brother, brother-in-law, uncle, great-uncle, and friend should be. And I think that quality boils down to one word that, to me, summarizes who Pat was….selfless.
I looked up a quote that I have heard before and I thought best describes Pat and this quality– “True love is putting someone before yourself.”
I thought it was ascribed to some great philosopher like Aristotle or Confucius. Unfortunately, I was a surprised and a little embarrassed to find that Google attributes to quote to Olaf, the snowman, from Frozen. But that doesn’t lessen its relevance in this case. I never knew a man who put his family, friends, and community more before himself than Pat.
He was also honest, fair, principled, and forthright. As he said himself in the hospital to one of the nurses, I spent my life listening more than speaking, and it served me well. And though he listened more than spoke, his pithiness was classic. I’ll never forget a perfect example of this – the Agrestis were visiting us in South Carolina and driving back to the house we were blocked by a good-sized tree that had fallen across the road. Mary, said to him, why don’t you and the boys get out and move it…and Pat simply said, “Mary, it’s a tree!”
He had one additional notable quality that I have to mention, though anyone you really knew Pat will already be aware of this…he had the nicest, softest feet of any man in the Tri-State area. This is not just subjective opinion but was corroborated by many of the nurses and staff in the various hospitals he was in over the past few months.
We are all going to miss him more than any words I can express here. But we were all lucky to have him in our lives, however brief, and a little piece of Pat is in the hearts of each of us, and the impact he’s had on us will last forever. We love you Pat.
